


(A Love That'll) Never Be

by OverMyFreckledBody



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: (as it is precanon yknow), Angst, Grief/Mourning, Idolization, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Male Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Pining, Pre-Canon, Pre-Relationship, Short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-30
Updated: 2017-09-30
Packaged: 2019-01-07 09:51:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12230472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OverMyFreckledBody/pseuds/OverMyFreckledBody
Summary: Shiro's gone and maybe they didn't actually have any history together, but Lance is still hurting from everything he wished it was.





	(A Love That'll) Never Be

**Author's Note:**

> _Anonymous suggested:_
> 
> _[Anywhere But Here (Orchestral version) by Safety Suit](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=swKvJBHrWcA) _
> 
> originally posted to tumblr, [here](http://cryingovershance.tumblr.com/post/165913173149/anywhere-but-here-orchestral-version-by-safety).
> 
> you guys asked for a lot of fucking angst gbfhsdjgbfkdbg

_Is this a natural feeling or is it just me bleeding_  
 _All my thoughts and dreams in hope that you will be with me or_  
 _Is this a moment to remember or just a cold day in December, I wonder_  
 _If maybe, maybe I could be all you ever dreamed cause you are_  
  
_Beautiful inside, so lovely and I can’t see why I’d do anything without you, you are_  
 _And when I’m not with you, I know that it’s true_  
 _That I’d rather be anywhere but here without you_

 

* * *

 

 

Just because it’s stupid to be hurt over this, and no matter how much he tries to force himself to not be, Lance can’t help the pain that builds in his chest. He barely even has a reason for it - and it’s not an easily justifiable one, either. 

 

It’s not like they were dating, or even friends. They didn’t know each other, really. Lance knew him, but Shiro probably wouldn’t even be able to name him if asked. They’ve barely ever talked and the one time they did, it wasn’t even over anything deeper than a congratulations for scoring so high. 

 

But no matter what he tells himself, repeats these details in his head, the pounding in his chest doesn’t get the memo. It just keeps on, tightens harsh around his rib cage, makes it hard to breathe. It’s hard to focus on anything but this, hard to will himself to actually get up and do anything, and he doesn’t think he’ll even speak without forcing himself to anytime in the next  _century_. 

 

He should have told him, before he left. He had made it so close, too, had sought Shiro out, all prepared to tell him  _something_ about how he feels, whether it be about how Shiro inspires him and makes him want to work harder, or maybe about how he’s been crushing pretty hard for a while now. He could have even just told him simply good luck, but he couldn’t do it. 

 

He chickened out in the last second and it was embarrassing, but he would have pushed himself harder if he knew just how awful his heart would be punishing him for it. Now, he doesn’t even know the next time he’ll even see the guy, or be able to get a hold of him.

 

Here he is, acting like a mourning boyfriend, but all he is is someone pining a little too hard. Good god, does he need to get it together. 

 

Hunk, bless him, has been the one to make sure he gets up, eats, and sticks ot a general schedule right now. Lance doesn’t know where he would be without him - probably still in bed - and he wishes that the apathy filling him like a white space that just grows and grows would give him the energy simply just to thank him for it. 

 

As it is, that energy is being used to do the parts of life and its awful responsibilities that Hunk can’t cover for him. He daydreams a lot during class, but its more getting lost in thought and sometimes (most of the time) just nothingness, but he’s still somehow getting by. He’s glad he read ahead before in his excitement (maybe to catch up to his hero, maybe to impress him with his knowledge), but a good portion of his passing is probably even due to Hunk’s notes, too.

 

“Hey,” Hunk’s voice brings him out of his head, which has been harder and harder to do lately, which is probably why Hunk tends to only do it when they’re moving or if he wants to talk about something. “Where’s Keith?”

 

How the hell should Lance know? He know he makes - or, used to - a big deal about their rivalry, but the truth was, Lance didn’t give him any notice until it came to their scores. It wasn’t like he was one of those assholes who shoved the people they didn’t like when they passed them in the halls.

 

Before Hunk can update him with more news or details or whatever, the classroom door opens and in steps an adult, probably someone from the office. They have a serious face, obviously in place to keep their emotions from being seen, and they clear their throat as if the whole class wasn’t already paying them their utmost attention anyway. “Pidge Holt? You’re needed in - ”

 

“What’s this about?” Pidge asks without getting up, but he does start to collect his things, though he does it slowly, a curious expression on his face. Beside Lance, Hunk tenses, suddenly uneasy.

 

The stranger - and now that Lance is looking at them, he can tell that they’re dressed a little fancier than the people in the office - doesn’t even flinch at the question. “If I could - ”

 

“Is it Matt?”

 

Hunk sucks in air through his teeth and glances again at Keith’s empty desk. Lance watches him, confused, not making any of the same connections. “Lance,” he starts in a whisper, trying to not to draw anyone but Lance’s attention. “Lance, I think - ”

 

The fancily decorated person doesn’t say anything, doesn’t get to, before Pidge is shoving all his things into his bag without a care and marching out the door. As soon as it shuts, the room bursts into whispers that steadily rise to talking, and then loud voices.

 

It doesn’t click until someone mentions the name  _Shiro_. 

 

By the time his brain is recognizing all the little hints and clues, putting it together for himself, Hunk is already hauling him out of the room. By the time they reach Lance’s room, he’s hiccuping and barely holding back from hyperventilating. Hunk’s arms are around him, pulling him to sit on the bed, and he doesn’t hesitant to lean into him, smearing his shirt with tears and snot and spit.

 

Well, here’s his fucking excuse. And it’s even worse. 

**Author's Note:**

> [here's my shance/voltron tumblr](http://cryingovershance.tumblr.com/)


End file.
